Yes, I said poo... as in poop. You're going, "what?" 

Let's face it - while we all know poo is just the result of a natural bodily function, bla bla bla, the word, itself still makes us giggle like fourth graders, and we often grimace or shriek and recoil in disgust at the sight of it - especially poo that is "out of place".

So Sunday morning I was out in my little veggie garden, plucking some green beans from my amazingly productive few magic bean stalks. After loading a pocketful of my little harvest, I noticed something "out of place" on my gate post. It was a neat little pile of poo, about the size Mojo tends to produce. Did I shriek or go "eeewwwww!" or freak out in any way? No, I giggled.

You see, the previous Friday night, my friend Jenn was passing out little mini-flyers for her friend who was having a yard sale of cheap tchochkies, including "fake poop". Of course I found this delightfully intriguing, and exclaimed, "Fake poop? Hell yeah! I need some of that!" 

Well, the ever-attentive Jenn didn't let my enthusiasm for the pretend poo go unnoticed. She purchased said bogus poo at her friend's sale Saturday morning, knowing full well that I would probably not get up early enough to get there before the poo was all gone.

So now I have the most disgustingly real looking clay fake poo, which has already produced hours of hilarity through it's practical jokeiness via its perceived disgustingness. The funniest part is watching how long it takes others to notice the little load of counterfeit caca, even when placed in plain view on the top of the picnic table at which they're sitting. Ha! 

Now about the traveling thing - my friend, Helen stopped by today and actually noticed the stunt-poo fairly quickly, as it was sitting on a tropical print paper plate on my little back patio table-ette. She exhibited the proper poop-out-of-context aversion with her rather alarmed expression, then asked "What is that?!" I casually replied, "Oh, Mojo loves to sit on that table and I guess he left me a little present", at which point I reached down and picked up the faux-poo and waved it in the air. More hilarity ensued, of course. (Incidentally, Mojo would never do such a thing. He is the world's most perfect little doggy who even remembers to put the toilet seat down when he's finished.)

Yeah, these are the good times - made even better by plasticine poo. Who knew? 

Of course, Helen was equally enamored by the little brown treasure and asked if she could borrow it to pranksterize her darling husband, Zen. Zen, of course, will also want to borrow said treasure to "entertain" his workmates. Helen, by the way, is the ultimate merry prankster, so of course it makes sense that the first handoff of the traveling poo should be to her. 

Now the sisterhood thing - no, this does not mean the imitation poo must be passed along to a female. As I already mentioned, Zen will undoubtedly carry the dummy-dung for a period, so that dispels that myth right there. In fact, sometimes I call Zen "Sista-man" and he actually responds (after laughing his butt off). 

So, yes - the sham-poo began its journey with Sister Jenn, then traveled around my back yard with Sister Me, and now travels with Sister Helen... then on to Sister-man Zen... then on to another... then another. Hopefully in the end, this will be one of the most well-traveled fake poos ever. I would encourage all my "Sisters in pseudo poo" to take photos and document the more creative "out of context" locations of our little repli-poo. Stay tuned...

Below are a few of my own pics of the phony poo in various settings... yeah, 4th grade mentality, to be sure.

(left: impostor poo appears on my garden gate;  right: beer vase & ersatz poo on my picnic table)

(left: Chaz BBQ's chicken with imitation poo in foreground; right: succulents & plastic action hero fleeing from synthetic poo)